


want you to find me

by showbenis



Category: Bill & Ted (Movies)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Dirty Talk, First Time, M/M, Masturbation, Phone Sex, that's basically the whole fic folks, the whole fic is just. phone sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:22:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28249083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/showbenis/pseuds/showbenis
Summary: Ted calls the apartment when Bill is in the middle of something - and Bill pauses to take the call just in case, but it leaves him in a most uncomfortable position.
Relationships: Ted "Theodore" Logan/Bill S. Preston Esq.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 128





	want you to find me

**Author's Note:**

> title credit to divinyls' i touch myself because. you know.

It’s not like all Bill does when Ted’s not home is jerk off. There are times he’s home on his own that he tries to write a song, or he puts on a movie or something - but, admittedly, since it’s a lot more difficult to find a good chance to rub one out whenever Ted _is_ around, Bill tends to take advantage of any time he’s at work or otherwise out of the apartment. 

Even if he tells himself he’s not going to, that he’s going to focus on something else, every time he’s alone, eventually he finds his thoughts drifting, and his hand settling at the front of his pajama pants.

Usually he starts like that, just playing with himself through the fabric absentmindedly, not really thinking of anything in particular, cupping his balls then tracing his thumb around the shape of his cock. He’ll just touch gently like that until he starts to feel the desperation creep up, until he’s thrusting up into his hand, and that’s when he’ll actually take out his cock, wrap his hand around it and start to jerk off in earnest. A lot of the time he’s on the couch watching TV when he starts, and sometimes he’ll try to pick out someone or something to fantasize about but - more often than not, he turns off the TV, and he thinks about Ted.

It’s not like Ted can hear him, after all, if his name happens to slip off in a bitten-off gasp while Bill tugs at himself and thinks about Ted’s big hands and his broad shoulders and his plush, pink lips.

He’s gotten as far as getting his half-hard dick in hand one afternoon when the phone rings.

Hardly anyone ever actually calls them - and with Ted over at Missy’s for the day to help her move some stuff, it could be important. He might need a ride home, or he might have gotten hurt, and Bill knows he should answer the phone just in case.

So though he groans for a second, and throws his head back against the pillows at the back of the couch, he tucks himself back in his pajamas and goes over to pick up the receiver.

“Bill S. Preston, Esquire speaking,” he says, tucking the handset in between his neck and shoulder as he picks the base of the phone up off the table, hooking his fingers in the cradle so he can carry it.

“Bill! Dude, I’m basically all done at Missy’s already - she says I should chill for a little bit, though, and then she can drive me home. I think she had to go run an errand or something so she told me I could take a shower here but - you don’t gotta give me a ride or anything.”

Bill’s torn between being happy as always to hear Ted’s voice, and frustrated that he got interrupted for this. He glances down at where he’s still hard, the shape obvious against the front of his pajamas, and grunts a little as he sits back down on the couch. “Well, okay, dude. Thanks for lettin’ me know. If she takes too long, though, I can always bring the van over there.”

“Yeah, I know,” Ted says, and Bill can hear the smile in his voice. “Thanks, Bill.”

“No problem, dude.”

“Ugh, dude, I really do probably need to take a shower over here before I come home, I am most egregiously sweaty.” Ted says it like he probably just pulled his shirt away from his skin and felt it stick a little.

Unfortunately for Bill, just picturing it, Ted in his tank top, all sweaty and flushed, pulling his shirt up a little - makes his cock twitch in his pants. He reaches down to press his hand against himself, trying to get it under control, but he makes an awkward noise into the phone and has to cover it with an attempt to clear his throat. “Oh uh - did she - make you do a lot of work and stuff?”

“Nah, not really,” Ted says, his voice still light, totally clueless. “I mean - there was like a whole bedroom set she wanted to move, but it wasn’t that heavy or anything. I could get most of the pieces on my own.”

Bill gets another vivid image, of Ted picking up a piece of furniture, hoisting it easily in his arms, the way his muscles would look as he carried it from one room to another, the easy way he’d grin after and shake out his hands. Bill slips his hand back into his pajamas, but only to specifically wrap his hand around the base of his cock, trying to calm himself down - trying to get rid of his erection by sheer force of will.

“That’s - that’s good, dude,” Bill says, and his voice sounds oddly rough. He clears his throat again. “So none of it was like - too heavy or anything?” Honestly, he hardly knows what he’s saying anymore, his eyes closed tight, his thumb and forefinger wrapped tightly around the base of his cock, as he squeezes tight and tries not to move.

“Well there was this one piece, just like - the headboard of the bedframe she needed me to get, and I kind of had to like, lift it over my head and turn it funny, but it wasn’t that heavy, just more like - hard to carry around, y’know?”

Again, Bill’s brain treats him to a clear picture - the way Ted’s arms would look carrying an entire bed frame over his head, the way the muscles in his back might move if he was shirtless, and Bill’s hips twitch forward into his grip, just enough that he makes a noise again.

“Are you okay, dude?” Ted asks suddenly, concern in his voice. “You sound kinda - out of it. Are you feeling bad or something, you need me to come home?”

“ _Nn_ \- no dude, I’m good,” Bill says, but he wraps his full hand around his cock again, and pants out a breath, just trying to stay calm. “I should probably let you - go get that shower.”

“I don’t wanna like, leave you hanging if you’re not feeling good, Bill. I’m not that gross. I mean-” Bill hears some rustling, and Ted laughs a little. “Okay, no, I’m pretty gross, my shirt is like, soaked, dude.”

Bill kicks his foot back against the couch and bites his lip, trying desperately not to make another noise as his hips twitch forward again. “I’ll - I’m fine, dude, I promise,” Bill says - but now he’s totally breathless, his voice obviously tight, and he knows that Ted can tell.

“If there’s something wrong, you can tell me, dude,” Ted says - and the soft, genuine tone of his voice is the last straw.

Flush with his embarrassment, Bill finally pulls his hand away from his cock and clenches it into a fist to press it against his thigh. “I’m fine, I just - you kinda called me when I was - in the middle of something, Ted.”

“Oh. In the middle of what, dude? Were you like - working out or something?”

Pressing his thighs together, Bill presses his free hand against his face, and he can feel how warm it is. “I - not exactly,” Bill mumbles, distracted and always terrible at lying to Ted, anyways.

“So what’re you like-” Then Ted pauses. “Oh. _Oh_. Did I like interrupt you when you were-” Ted cuts himself off, and Bill can actually hear his teeth click when his mouth snaps shut.

“Yeah, dude,” Bill mumbles, his face growing even warmer. His only comfort is knowing that Ted’s probably equally embarrassed on his end of the phone.

“Sorry,” Ted says. “I mean, not that I like - could have known, I guess, but still, sorry I- Sorry.”

“It’s fine, Ted, I could have just not answered the phone, I just - I was afraid it might have been important or something.”

“And then it’s - totally not. Sorry, Bill. I’ll - are you still like-”

“Still what?” Bill asks, glancing down at his cock, curving up towards his stomach even still tucked under his waistband. “Still like - jerking off?”

Ted makes a little noise - so surprised he doesn’t even manage to say a real word at first. “Well - I guess I just meant should I - let you get back to it, like if you were still - but-” He clears his throat, and when he speaks again, he sounds oddly awkward. “Me talking so much probably already took care of that, especially with all the - sweat and stuff.”

There’s a strange, hollow tone to Ted’s voice now - and Bill, still half-dazed and only getting harder with Ted’s voice right in his ear, can’t help but make a little noise of protest. “Dude it’s - if anything it just got worse, but uh - no yeah, you should go like, take a shower and stuff, and I’ll go um - finish.”

“Wh - what do you mean it got worse?” Ted asks, him, his voice low.

“Ted, I don’t-” Bill’s cock twitches a little, talking about it just making him aware of how sensitive he still is - how badly he wants to go back to touching himself. “I don’t think you wanna like, hear about it, dude, right?” He clenches his hand in a fist again, rubbing his knuckles against his thigh, curling his toes into the carpet and trying desperately not to touch his cock.

“Well I-” Ted cuts off, and his voice shifts, his tone soft and low, practically whispered into the phone. “I don’t - mind or anything. If you wanted to keep going. Since I interrupted.”

Bill’s grip on the phone tightens, and his cock twitches again. He presses his flushed cheek against the receiver, trying to let the plastic cool him down just a little - barely able to think about the fact that Ted just offered to listen to him jerk off. “I’m - are you sure, dude?” He doesn’t wait for the answer, though, before he wraps his fingers around the base of his cock again, and he lets out another little involuntary noise, something close to a whimper.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Ted says - and Bill can hear where his mouth is all pressed against the phone, the way his breathing has gotten heavy.

Finally, with explicit permission, Bill wraps his hand around his cock again, properly, and gives it one good pull, all the way from the base to the tip, rubbing his thumb over the slit as he groans with relief. “Ted,” he moans out - not even really meaning to, not really sure why, no idea of anything he could have to say, just caught up in the knowledge that Ted’s on the other end of the phone, _listening_.

“Yeah, Bill?” Ted pants back.

“God, I’m so hard,” Bill tells him, tucking the receiver between his neck and shoulder again, his lips pressed against the speaker like a damp, off-center kiss. He reaches down with his other hand, pushes his pants down again, properly, spreading his legs to give himself more room. “I was only like - halfway there when you called but then it was like - trying not to think about it made it worse, and I was just sitting here with my hand on my dick and I tried - I tried not to, Ted, but I was _so hard_ , dude.”

“So you - the whole time we were talking?”

“I was trying not to touch myself, I didn’t - I was trying to like, squeeze myself, you know, so I didn’t bust just while we were - talking or something, but it just made it worse, so I tried to stop touching but then I kept like - I could just feel it, you know, I was still all like - _hn_ \- sensitive.” Bill closes his eyes, squeezing them tight, his brow furrowed with concentration as he starts to pick up the pace and thrust into his fist.

“But now you’re jerking off again? Like for real?”

“ _Nn_ \- yeah, just - getting my rhythm back.”

“And are you - like over by the phone?” Ted asks - and Bill hears rustling again, like fabric moving, but he can’t really tell what Ted’s doing. Anyways, he can’t get a picture in his head better than just Ted’s voice, urging him on - the idea of Ted’s face, his mouth pressed to the phone receiver, lips bitten, eyes closed or open wide while he listens in rapt attention.

“No I - _fuck_ ,” Bill reaches the head of his cock again and finds himself leaking, and uses it to slick up his hand a little before he slides it back down, and moans with the feeling. “I brought the phone over to the couch.”

“Bill can I - is it weird if we’re doing it at the same time?”

Bill’s hand pauses on his dick, so shocked he’s frozen in his tracks, just for a moment. “You - are you hard?”

“Yeah, dude, I didn’t wanna like - I didn’t mean to, I just-”

“Ted, it’s okay, dude, come on, it’s not - if anything that’s like - less weird, right? If we’re both doing it?”

There’s a pause, filled only with both of their heavy breathing - and then more quiet rustling. “Okay, yeah,” Ted agrees. Bill can’t see it, but he’s sure he nods, too. 

He would wonder if he’d be able to tell when Ted actually starts - except that Ted lets out this sigh, close to a moan but breathier, and even when he tries to cut it off at the end - it’s obvious from the relief in it he just got his hand around his dick.

“So you’re - are you touching yourself, too, now?”

“Yeah, except - hang on-” he cuts off, and Bill hears him spit into his palm, and then that sigh happens again, except this time he doesn’t cut it off. Bill realizes he recognizes it in part because he’s heard it through the door sometimes when Ted’s in the shower.

Knowing that Ted’s jerking off, too, picturing, even if he can’t picture it clearly, Ted’s big hand wrapped around his dick, the slow drag of his fist - Bill can’t help but move again, tugging himself in earnest, fucking into his fist as he starts to get desperate again.

“Are you- _hm_ -” Bill starts, and gets distracted when the phone starts to slip and he has to reach up and hold it properly again with the hand not on his dick. His hand’s all sweaty now, and so is the receiver, so he has to grip it properly to hold it close to his ear, making sure he doesn’t miss anything. “Are you sitting down?”

“I’m - in the guest bedroom, still, on the bed,” Ted tells him. “I didn’t think the phone would reach to the bathroom, so I just - sat down in here.” Bill hears him whine, quietly, and he realizes that in the background, he can actually hear the familiar rhythmic sound of Ted jerking himself, of his hand moving over his cock.

Bill, carefully, slows down a little, and manages to match his pace so they’re synced up. He groans into the phone again, squeezing his eyes shut to imagine that Ted’s in the room with him, just at the other end of the couch, cock pushing out between his fingers, his head thrown back against the cushions, the long line of his neck leading down to his chest, his stomach, and his cock.

“Bill,” Ted says, moaning it a little - and Bill has to squeeze at his cock, has to pause so he doesn’t bust right away at the sound of Ted saying his name like that. “I - could you keep talking?”

“About what?” Bill asks him, panting it out.

“Just - the same stuff as before, or - what you’re thinking about or anything, dude, just. Anything.”

“Well I think literally anything could be kind of a mood killer, dude,” Bill tells him, and Ted giggles at that, but it quickly turns into a whine, and the mood falls back into place as Bill thrusts helplessly into his own fist. “ _Uhn_ \- dude, I don’t - I can’t think when I’m this turned on, you kind of just got me started earlier, I don’t even know what I said,” he admits, nuzzling a little against the receiver.

“Well what about - what does it - what does it look like? Where you’re touching yourself?”

Flushing, Bill opens his eyes and stares down at himself. His hand not on the phone is wrapped tight around his cock, the head still peeking out from his fist, red and ruddy and still leaking precum. He’s naked from the hem of his half-shirt down to where his pajama pants are pushed down around his knees. His hand is still slick with his own mess, and as he moves, and rubs his thumb over the head of his cock again, he can see the way the veins and tendons in his arm stand out.

“I - I don’t know, dude,” Bill mumbles into the phone, but then he moves again, and whines, knocking his head against the receiver. “It’s just - my hand on my cock, it looks the way it always does, I’m - it’s not like you’ve never seen my dick.”

“Well yeah, but I-” Ted lets out another whine, high and a little desperate. “I always try not to look, I don’t wanna be weird, just cause I’ve seen it-”

“I don’t mind. If you wanna see it sometime,” Bill says quickly, cock twitching in his hand at the thought. “I mean - I - I try not to look at yours, too, but I - I know what yours looks like. Cause it’s - bigger than mine, I think, just a little, and - darker, and yours isn’t - cut, you know, the way mine is.”

“I like yours,” Ted says back. “Like the - the head, and the shape of it, from the times I saw it, I always thought-” But Ted cuts himself off again, and makes another little hum of a sound, clearly trying to muffle himself, and Bill wants to hear him.

“Always thought what?” Bill asks. “Come on, dude.”

“That it would - fit nice in my - my mouth and my hand, and stuff,” Ted mumbles, almost like he’s hoping Bill won’t really hear him.

But Bill does hear - clearly enough that he has to groan, out loud. He tries to turn his face towards the couch, to muffle it even a little, but he’s so lost in what Ted just said, in picturing it himself - in trying to keep himself from coming, because he wants to wait until Ted’s close, but just those words very nearly put him over the edge.

“Sorry, I - maybe I shouldn’t have-”

“I think about it, too, dude,” Bill says quickly, before Ted can doubt himself. “When I’m - sometimes when I jerk off I think about your hands, or your mouth, just - I was thinking about you before you called. And - when you called. It’s not weird. I do it, too.”

Ted gasps, and whimpers a little, and Bill hears more rustling - but different, this time, like he’s moving, squirming against the bed.

When he doesn’t say anything else, Bill closes his eyes again and says quietly into the phone, “You know, if you’re alone, you can make noise, you know. You can - you can be louder. I wanna hear you, dude.”

For a second, Bill thinks he’s going to just stay quiet - but instead, he hears, in the distance, Ted’s hand pick up pace, the slick, rhythmic sound again, and then Ted moans, so loud it crackles in the receiver.

Bill’s brow furrows, and he pants out against the phone, “Yeah, just like that, good, keep going.”

“Bill,” Ted gasps out, and then he moans again - and now it sounds like he’s pressed up against something.

“Are you - did you move?”

“Laying down,” Ted pants out. “I wanted to - get my pants out of the way, sorry, I had to - _nn_ , Bill-”

Now Bill can picture it again - Ted laying down, face turned towards the mattress, pants shoved down over his hips, cock in hand. The way his back might arch as he pushes his hips up, the same way it does when he stretches on the couch. The lines of his hips and the trail of hair on his stomach all leading down to his dick, the way Bill knows they do. Bill always finds himself staring at that space, the area of Ted’s stomach and hips right under his belly button, only really visible when his jeans ride low and his shirt rides up.

Nothing makes the fantasy as vivid, though, as Ted’s whining and panting through the phone, the way he makes a little noise now with each thrust of his hips.

“God, Ted, you sound so-” Bill groans into the phone - and he hears the way Ted moans in response, his rhythm stuttering for a moment.

“Bill,” Ted says back, moaning louder than ever. 

Bill’s name sounds so sweet like that, falling mindlessly out of Ted’s mouth while he gets himself off, that Bill can feel the tug in his stomach, the way his cock twitches in his fingers, and he tries to bite his lip and stop himself again - but he can’t quite manage. Instead, with a series of desperate moans, one for each push of his hips, Bill fucks up into his fist and comes.

He loses track of almost everything for a minute - his hand sticky and warm with his cum, his eyes squeezed shut - but he can hear Ted still whimpering on the other end of the phone.

“Bill, did you - did you come? Should I stop?”

Opening his eyes again, Bill looks down at where his cum landed on his stomach - some nearly making it to his shirt, and flushes. He grips the phone a little tighter with his clean hand again and wipes his hand off on his already messy stomach. “Did you finish yet?”

Ted whines, and Bill hears enough movement he’s pretty sure Ted is shaking his head. “No. But I just - is it weird? Now?”

Bill licks his lips and presses the phone receiver against his jaw, feeling his softening cock twitch a little at the idea that Ted’s still hard, and waiting on him on the other end of the phone. “No. I like - I owe you one, right? Cause you helped me. So now I’m just - helping you.”

“Right so I-” Ted groans, and Bill has a feeling he wrapped a hand back around his cock - but he doesn’t hear the noise anymore.

“Ted?”

“There’s - I wanna do the same thing I usually do when I jerk off in the shower but I dunno it might sound - weird. I don’t usually just get off like this anymore unless I just gotta like if you’re - if I’m too hard to go to sleep, you know,” Ted finishes softly.

Bill’s breath catches in his throat, and he flushes. “What - what do you do usually, then? In the shower?”

“I - um. You know - you know that time we got that porno tape and then we - we only realized once we got it home that it was - gay porn, so we - we both said we weren’t gonna watch it and we hid it in the footrest thing.”

In fact, Bill knows well, because he’s most definitely watched it when Ted wasn’t home. He glances over, now, at the place where they still keep it hidden, tucked inside the storage part of their footrest. “Uh - yeah.”

“I watched it. And there’s - um - the one guy he - he puts his fingers - inside of the other one, you know. So I - wanted to try it.”

“So you - touch yourself like that? In the shower?”

“Yeah sometimes. I - it started out just sometimes but now it’s - most of the time. I really like the way it feels.”

Bill resists the urge to knock himself in the head with the phone receiver, already unbearably turned on again. He can picture it, though - Ted, in the shower, water running down his chest, hair plastered to his forehead, one leg up on the lip of the tub, fingers tucked inside of himself, mouth red, dripping wet and hanging open. He can put himself there, too, wrapping his hands around Ted’s hips, tugging his head down to kiss him - replacing Ted’s fingers with his own.

The receiver is warm, now, from his face, but Bill still presses the plastic desperately against his flushed skin as he pants. “Go ahead, then, dude. Touch yourself. If that’s how you wanna get off.”

“Okay,” Ted says, his voice small - and then Bill hears the wet, sucking sound of Ted slipping his own fingers into his mouth to get them wet. He shudders, and wishes he hadn’t already gotten off, or wishes he wasn’t still so sensitive just so he could jerk off to this instead - but soon Ted pulls his fingers out of his mouth with a sigh. “Okay, I’m gonna - hold on I gotta - move.”

Bill hears rustling - but this time he knows why. Still, he wants more specifics - wants the picture clear in his head even though he knows he can’t get it up again yet, and he’s still just desperate anyways. “Are you gonna - do you wanna be on your front or on your back?”

“I think I gotta lay on my back I never - I’ve never done it laying down, but - _ah_ , _hn_ , yeah, back.”

“Are you - do you have one in already?”

“Just one - the first one, yeah,” Ted pants out. “I’m - once I don’t think it’ll hurt I’ll do two, but I - I get really sensitive, like all over, it’s - it feels like a lot, makes me all - shivery and stuff, makes it easier to come when I touch my cock."

“God, Ted,” Bill groans out. “That’s so hot. You’re so - Do you think about stuff? When you’re doing it?”

“Just the same stuff, I - the video, sometimes, at first, but then - I - _hh_ -” Ted stops for a second, just panting against the phone, and Bill hears another drawn-out whine, and he’s not sure if Ted wrapped a hand around his cock, or slipped his second finger inside, but he doesn’t want to interrupt when Ted hasn’t finished his thought. “I can’t really reach good, y’know, so I - started thinking about how - if you helped, you could probably do it better, and - I think there’s supposed to be a spot that feels really good, and I don’t think I’ve - hit it right, cause the angle’s kind of weird, I thought - thought maybe you could do it.” Ted’s still breathing heavy, and his words edge into whines and whimpers as he exhales, and Bill clutches at the phone in his hand, but he can feel his cock twitch, too, straining to get hard again. 

He grips his own thigh with his hand and groans, curling forward and bringing the phone with him. “Dude, if I was there, I would. I - I wanna, so bad, Ted. I wanna touch you like that, I wanna make you feel good, and I bet - I bet if you talked me through it, we could find it, dude. And I could just - I’d touch you there, and get you off with my fingers, watch you come.”

“I - do you really?” Ted asks, oddly vulnerable as Bill hears the motion of his hand stop.

“Of course I do, Ted, are you - dude, you’re so hot, I got off just listening to you, but I wish you were here, I - I kept thinking about you being here, jerking off on the couch or - what it would be like if I was in the shower with you.” Ted whines out loud, and Bill can hear the slick motion of his hand again, so he keeps going, wanting desperately to make Ted come, to talk him through it. “If you were here, dude, I’d - just slip my fingers inside you, and do it myself - I’d be gentle, though, I don’t wanna hurt you, but - I wanna be inside you. I wanna feel you. I could - wrap my hand around your cock, too, pace it better, and then you don’t have to think about it, just lay back and feel it, and I’d watch you - I’m almost hard again just thinking about it.”

Ted moans, then, loud and long and beautiful, and Bill’s cock twitches at the sound.

Bill can picture how he must look - the handset next to him on the bed, his hair all splayed out around him, face flushed, cheek pressed against the sheets, turned towards the phone. He must have one hand on his dick, the other down between his legs, fingers tucked inside himself, pressing in, searching. He thinks about how Ted’s cock would jerk in his hand, just like his own, cum leaking out between his fingers.

He listens as Ted’s breathing slowly starts to slow down, as he shifts around and presumably picks the receiver back up. “Oh now I really need a shower,” Ted says, and Bill laughs.

“Yeah, dude, you probably do.”

“I came so hard it almost hit me on the chin, dude, that’s like - that’s never happened before,” Ted tells him, turning oddly shy at the end.

“Whoa. Do you - think you found the right spot, then?”

“I dunno I uh - I think we should check. When I get home.”

“So you still - want me to?”

“I mean - if you still want to, dude. I know it was like - maybe we were just saying stuff-”

“I wasn’t,” Bill says quickly, clutching at the phone like Ted will feel it somehow. “I promise, dude, I wasn’t. Unless - I mean unless you were.”

“No I - I want all that stuff, too.”

“Do you want me to come get you?” Bill asks, already standing up, tugging his pajama pants up as he does. Once he’s tucked away again, he picks the phone base back up and stumbles with it back towards the table. “I’ll - I need to like wipe off, but - while you get a shower I could get dressed and I could come - pick you up. And bring you home. So you don’t have to wait for Missy. And then we could - I could see you, and stuff.”

“Yeah, okay,” Ted says, his voice small and happy. “I’ll - get a shower so I’m less like - odious.”

“Well I-” Bill flushes a little. “Just for the record, I know like right now you probably do need a shower but - the way you talked about being all sweaty and stuff was kind of hot, dude.”

“Oh yeah?” Ted asks, obviously grinning, and Bill laughs again.

“Shut up, Ted,” he grumbles - and Ted giggles.

“I gotta clean up or I’ll feel like - weird about it since I’m at Missy’s. I gotta like - put these sheets in the washer, too, probably. I’ll uh - leave her a note and tell her I spilled something or something.”

“Good thinking, dude,” Bill tells him. He scratches at his stomach, and then wrinkles his nose. “Oh, gross, I - I gotta clean up a little, too, anyways. I’m - kind of a mess. But I’ll - I’ll see you soon, okay, dude?” Bill tells him, feeling strangely eager to see Ted as soon as possible.

“Okay. Sounds good,” Ted says, but - for a moment neither of them hang up. So then Ted says, “When you pick me up - is it okay if I kiss you?”

Bill flushes and grins - and he probably looks totally dopey, just standing there in the living room, but he can hardly bring himself to care. “Yeah, dude. Totally. We can - kiss in the van. Or when we get home. Or both.”

“Okay.” Ted pauses again, and then he takes a deep breath. “Love you, dude,” he says - and then he hangs up, so fast that Bill can hear the phone hit the cradle before the beeping sound on the other end of the phone meets his ear.

He thinks about it all through cleaning up in the bathroom, and changing his shirt, and climbing in the van, and driving over to Missy’s - and when Ted climbs into the van on the passenger side, all flushed, head ducked so he can hide behind his bangs, Bill can’t help but say, “Love you, too, dude,” as he pulls him close for a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> uhhhhhh HAPPY DECEMBER EVERYBODY here's some smut. that's all it is. you know it, i know it, it's fine. if you want, find me on twitter @showbenis, if not, have a lovely day. hope you enjoyed it either way!


End file.
